Valley of the Gods and the idiots, Part 2

Posted by Sean Jordan on

Valley of the Gods, and the idiot. Part Deux
Nov 3, 2018

Click Here to check out Part 1 of this trip.

Valley Of the Gods road has endless photo ops. It’s an easy road to take pretty much any vehicle on. Adventure bike, Harley, scooter, whatever – you’re probably fine to take just about anything with wheels – so long as you can cross the creek at the east entrance.  There are plenty of spots where you can run wide fucking open if you’ve got the balls.


There’s a cool monument at the west end of the road, which is also at the base of Moki Dugway.


Ideally you hit the top of Moki Dugway right at sunrise or at sunset for a pretty stunning view. We hit it around noon, but we’ve spent plenty of sunsets here. 

Getting to the top is not particularly difficult at all. The road has always been in good shape when we’ve been there (which is lots of times). I imagine it could get hairy in a monsoon.

Heading out to the 95 is a decent run. Lots of sweeping corners and big flat spots to hit lightspeed. 

The 95 is also a pretty rad road. Hitting this road just after a rain storm produces a completely different look and there are plenty of waterfalls to check out as you dodge sandbars that have washed across the road. Our run was dry, but it’s still an awesome section.

Some moron tipped his bike over.  Luckily there's an extra kickstand.

The run from our camp spot to the gas station in Hanksville is about 140 miles, and normally I can get that out of my Dyna…. BUT we ended up going back and forth and screwing around so much on the dirt that we pretty much all ran out of gas about 3 miles outside of Hanksville.

We gassed up at Hanksville and continued on – knowing full well that we had plenty of time to hit our next camp spot with daylight to get set up.

We stopped in Torrey for lunch (really a late lunch / early dinner), fully realizing that we were fucking ourselves on the daylight camp setup, but whatever.

Food in small towns is hit and miss. We’ve had decent food in Torrey, and we’ve had shit food. This place was somewhere in the middle. For the life of me I can’t remember the spot, but it was the pizza place on the south side of the highway. Food was just meh, but at least they have a full bar.

As a side note, after we released part 1 of this trip we received several comments. Most of them went something like “your trips look rad”, and “how do I get on the invite list”. The ones that we really like to hear are things like “you guys are idiots” and “why do you do those things to yourself”. Most of these comments don’t really deserve a response. We did, however have somebody tell us how stupid we are to ride Harleys on dirt roads, and then end their moronic rant with something like “you should have eaten at the brewery, their food is awesome”.  NO, NO, NO, food at the brewery is not “awesome”. It is garbage, just like everything else in town – the only reason anybody goes there is because they are in Moab and there’s only so many options. All that food comes from the same fucking freezer trucks that serve every other shitty restaurant in town, and NOBODY GOES TO MOAB FOR THE FOOD! Food in Moab pretty much sucks – at all places – I’ve been going to Moab for decades and I am quite confident nobody will change my mind on that any time soon. No reasonable human has ever travelled to Moab for the food. It is a food desert. Anything you could get at any restaurant is going to be mediocre at best, but usually it’s crappy.  You go to Moab because the landscape is awesome.  

people. don’t. go. to. Moab. for. the. food. for hell's sake. 

Anyways… We loaded up, left Torrey and started to head towards Monroe. It was about 4 minutes from sundown when we hit the road – which is the exact time that every fucking deer and elk in the mountain-west region decides to also hit the roads. Lots of animals out in this area as well. As usual there were a couple close calls, but nobody hit anything and we all survived just fine.

We made our way to Monroe where we camped at Mystic Hot Springs. Camping here is great. There are a couple large grassy areas to set up, picnic tables, firepits, flush toilets, showers, etc… Seems they raised their prices a little bit in the last year, but it’s worth the cost for the amenities that are available.  Glover's chair was there.  Still, he didn't show up.  

The road home was cold – probably the coldest day ride of the year. Wasn’t quite snowing, but it was almost there. It’s an easy 125 mile run from Monroe back to the shop, but it was also the last 125 mile run of the year. Insert sad face here.

    So if you're adventurous enough to join up, feel free to hit us up to get on the invite list.  

    Happy Riding, suckers. 

    P.S.  If you've made it this far, you deserve to watch this gem of a montage.



    Leave a comment

    Please note, comments must be approved before they are published